Things that Go Bump in the Night
by MGD
Summary: Chuck, right there!" Why would Blair need to go there? Find out for yourself, or at least my version of it.


Hello! Been awhile since I've written something. This is just a quick, hopefully funny one-shot that I wanted to write since I saw the first GG preview for second half of the season. You know the one with all the 'fake' shouting.

All these lovely things belong to CVZ, except the twisted little humor. This is rated for language and suggestive content, so don't expect anything too juicy. Ohh! If Nate sounds like a thirteen year old virgin, go with it. It's just for the story.

**Things that go bump in the night**

Her eyes popped wide open. There it was, again. The scratchy or springy noise was back. She could feel it in her bones. They were at it, again, in the middle of the night. A cringe ran down her back when her mind created a mental image. Enough was enough. It was time to remind them who the real king and queen were.

Blair gently turned around in Chuck's arms until she was facing him. Nuzzling his neck, she kissed her way along his chin rubbing his chest with her hand. His arms instinctively tightened around her, but he did not stir from his slumber. The noise from the other room had quickened in pace; she had no time for subtlety. Fixing her leg over his hip, she gently placed her teeth on his clavicle. With a quick roll, she moved onto her back with Chuck settled perfectly between her thighs. Once her nails were in place on his shoulder, she simultaneously dug her teeth and nails into him.

"Owww! Damn it, Blair!" Chuck bellowed suddenly roused from a deep sleep. She fluttered her eyelashes innocently while she was secretly thrilled by his anger and alertness. If he was wound up just right, Chuck would move enthusiastically enough to leave a mark in the drywall. Ignoring his probing glare, she wrapped her legs around his hips brushing her delightfully warm parts against him.

"Blair, it's three-thirty in the morning," he admonished.

"I know," she responded coyly.

"There are better ways to get my attention when you want something," he lectured looking down at the spot, where she sunk her teeth into his skin. He sighed examining the bite. Blood was starting to travel from his collar bone down his chest. Pulling her legs off his body, he drew away from her with dangerously narrowed eyes and a scowl.

Blair heard her own breath hitch from the intensity of his look. Chuck radiated fury. She was in for some serious punishment for that little love bite. A smirk formed on her lips as she envisioned all the ways he liked to punish her for being over zealous or impatient in bed. It would be perfect if he forced her to face the wall and hold on to the headboard for dear life. Then, she could control how much noise the bed made through the wall.

Chuck put a hand on his shoulder to inspect the damage that she inflicted on his back. There was a light smear of blood on his hand after touching the wound. He sighed deeply once again and rose from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Blair asked with alarm.

"To clean up your little mess, Princess," he spat at her.

"Don't you want to punish me first?" she replied rubbing the soft milky skin of her outer thigh.

Leaning in until he hovered a hares breathe away from her lips, he whispered, "I am punishing you." He pulled away from her and headed to the bathroom.

"Come back here, Basshole. You will not leave me unsatisfied!" she yelled at his back.

"You're going to have to finish what you started on your own, sweetheart. I surprisingly don't seem to be in the mood after being attacked in my sleep," he yelled back at her.

"Has the Great Chuck Bass lost his one and only talent?" she sneered realizing that he was really angry at her.

"Bitches and blood just don't do it for me. Even I have standards, Blair," he scowled before slamming the bathroom door shut. She sunk back onto the bed defeated. This wasn't her fault. It was the damn noise coming from Nate's room. Didn't the blonde bimbos know the proper time to engage in sexual activities especially when someone was in the next room?

_The next morning . . ._

"Blair, you can stop shouting," Serena proclaimed from the doorway in an annoyed tone.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to barge in without knocking," Blair responded snootily as she turned another page of her _Harper's Bazaar_.

"B, you have been shouting Chuck's name for twenty minutes. Nate and I saw him leave for work thirty minutes ago," Serena pleaded hoping her friend would drop the obvious charade.

"How do you know that I wasn't entertaining him over the phone? We do that on occasion. There are days when he just can't make it through the day without my assistance and encouragement," she responded in her Upper East Side Queen voice. Serena instantly knew that it was her defensive tone. Something was upsetting her best friend.

"Eww! Too much information, B. I never need details about your sex life with Chuck. He's always more than happy to create visuals without any help," she replied sliding onto the bed for a heart to heart.

"Some of us don't need visuals because we can hear every little thing," Blair grumbled barely loud enough for Serena to hear.

"Oh god!" Serena exclaimed looking naïve and embarrassed, "Nate and I weren't . . . you know . . . too loud or anything."

"Of course not!" Blair got up from the bed growing more defensive, "How would I know? Chuck and I are too busy with our activities to know what you and your third boyfriend in the last five months are doing. Or, is Nate the fourth one?"

"Blair, you know that not fair. Just because you and Chuck are fighting does mean that you have to attack what Nate and I . . ." Serena tried to defend.

Blair cut her off, "Excuse me. There is nothing wrong with me and Chuck. Keep your sordid little affairs away from us."

"We heard your fight last night, B. You can tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you figure out what happened last night," Serena tried to be the peacemaker once again.

"There is nothing wrong!" Blair repeated, "Like I would take advice from someone who jumps to a new favorite every month."

"Fine, B. Just remembered I tried," Serena got up and left the room.

_At the same time, Serena went into Chuck's room to explore . . ._

"Chuck Bass," he answered his phone while glazing over some building plans.

"Man, you have to back to the apartment now," Nate insisted with glee.

"I am a little busy doing grownup things, Nathaniel," Chuck chided.

"Chuck, you don't understand. You have to come now. The unbelievable is happening," Nate sounded like he was fidgeting in his chair.

"What is so important?" he prompted him to get to the point.

"Remember the ultimate fantasy we had when we were 12 that summer in the Hamptons," Nate recalled.

"The identical blonde twin sisters that couldn't keep their hands to themselves? Already been there," Chuck reminded him with a nostalgic smirk.

"No, man! The other fantasy that we developed the day that Blair and Serena went into the changing tent together and came out in bikinis," Nate explained.

"The one where they help the other one change with young exploring hands. Who could forget?" Chuck reclined into a chair forgetting his condo dreams for fond childhood memories.

"Well, the impossible may be happening here right now!" Nate tried to contain his excitement for fear of the girls hearing him.

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked with equal parts of doubt and delight.

"Blair has been screaming your name from behind your closed bedroom door for nearly a half hour now. Serena got up from the table claiming enough is enough and went in there. She closed the door after she went in your room," Nate said in one quick rant.

"Nathaniel, they're probably just talking. Girls need their privacy sometimes," Chuck sighed knowing that it sounded too good to be true.

"Don't say that I didn't try . . . Oh crap," Nate suddenly didn't sound too thrilled, "Serena looks pissed."

"Good luck," Chuck hung up intrigued by the description of events.

_That evening . . . _

"Blair!" Chuck called for her to come out into the living room to join the group.

"Chuck! Welcome home, darling," Blair greeted him with a fake smile. She placed a quick peek on his lips for the benefit of their audience. Her eyes narrowed when she looked at him with her back to Nate and Serena.

"Nathaniel. Sis, would you be kind enough to give Blair and me a moment to talk?" he asked never breaking eye contact with her.

"Sure," they mumbled retreating to Nate's bedroom knowing that the couple was about to face-off.

"You're heinous," she voiced with disgust as she turned to leave the room.

"Not so fast, Princess," Chuck grabbed her wrist pulling her flush against his front, "You owe me apology, Waldrof."

"Never in your life, Bass," she growled trying to pull her arm free.

He swiftly shifted his hands to her hips and backed her up against the pool table. Lifting her up onto the table, he placed his body between her open thighs. He proceeded, "If you can't be proper lady and say you're sorry, then I guess that I going to have to punish you." He smirked.

Blair's eyes jumped open wide with surprise. Honestly, she wasn't expecting a playful Bass after the events of the previous night. Her eyes jumped again when she realized his plan. She squirmed in his grasp, "Chuck, not here. Nate and Serena could walk in."

"Isn't that the point, B? That's why you woke me up last night, so Nate and Serena could hear. Imagine how much better it would be if they saw us," he moved in close reading her facial ticks.

"You made your point, Bass. Now let me go," she practically spat the words at him.

"Never in your life, Waldrof," he smirked throwing her words back in her face.

"Give it up, Chuck. I'm never going to let up . . . CHUCK!" she screamed as he twisted her nipple through her blouse and bra.

"You were a bad little Waldrof last night. Now be a good girl like you pretend to be and take your punishment," Chuck commanded as his hands pushed her skirt up over her waist.

"On the billiard table, Chuck, even you have more class than this," she complained.

"Would you rather Nate and Serena claim it first?" he challenged.

She glared at him. Unbuckling his belt, she replied, "I'm waiting, Bass."

_Two hours and twenty three minutes later . . ._

"It's been quiet for awhile now. Do you think it's safe to go out there?" Serena asked.

"Give Chuck an hour," Nate answered.

"Gross. How do you know that?" she frowned.

"I didn't start wearing ear plugs until after the first month that I lived here," he responded calmly used to the routine by now.

"Eww!" Serena shivered cuddling closer into her boyfriend.


End file.
